DestroRWBY PSA: Fan Fic security
by HaloGoji75
Summary: Members of Destro and RWBY have decided to adress something important. Written after reading 'Weiss Reacts to Mary Sues part 2'.


(Cue random theme similar to Red vs Blue or whatever you can think of)

**Destro PSA: The solution to your problems**

Burn: Hey there, I'm Burn from the Destro series of fics by HaloGoji75.

Ruby: And I'm Ruby Rose from the RWBY universe.

Burn: And today we are here to talk to you fan fiction authors, and other versions of RWBY characters if the transmitter works and you are receiving this message, in which case, Ruby stop waving to yourself, I doubt she can see you.

Ruby: I can still wave back, right?

Burn: Sure, why not?

Ruby: (Begins waving) Hi alternate dimension me.

Burn: Anyway, we the members of Fire Team Destro and Teams RWBY and JNPR, have notice that some fan fics/alternate universes have been receiving a series of intruders appear at random. Examples of this can be seen in the most recent chapter of 'Weiss Reacts'.

Weiss: (from the background) Which, I personally dislike due to my counterpart's immaturity.

Burn: Ok, Weiss we get it, you hate stuff, now get back to work.

Weiss: How dare you try to order me around!

Burn: Ruby, control your amigo please.

Ruby: Weiss just calm down and find some way to help the others.

Burn: After noticing how 'Mary Sues', that's what they are called right?

Grant: I don't know, this fan fiction stuff is too difficult to understand at all. AND WHO PAIRS A 15 YEAR OLD GIRL WITH A DEMONIC WOLF MONSTER? THAT MAKES NO F #$ING SENSE!

Burn: Right, anyway, a bunch of these random people pop up unannounced and cause problems for the writer of the fic and the characters of said fic. That's why we all have formed a specialized team called, 'RWBY helpers.'

Ruby: Really?

Burn: It's the best I could come up with. Basically, we take care of unplanned crossovers, random OCs from alternate stories, and self inserts that cause these sorts of problems. If you are a author who experiences any of the problems listed above, contact us using either A: the comments, or B: HaloGoji75's mail box. If you're a RWBY character that experiences any of these, contact us through these special devices that have suddenly appeared in your current area and may or may not have fallen on the head of either Yang, Jaune, Weiss, or Cardin. Our receptionist, Velvet Scarlatina, will happily take your calls.

Velvet: (randomly pops up on screen) If any of you bloody guys try to flirt with me, I'LL BEAT YOU TO DEATH WITH YOUR OWN BLOODY BALLS! If any girls try to flirt with me, I'll think of some other punishment. Tata for now. (Goes back to whatever hell this demonic creature came from)

Burn: I am suddenly even more frightened by the concept of an angry female than before.

Ruby: I'm a bit scared of her too.

Burn: Back to business, if any of you alternate RWBY counterparts are wondering how to pay for all of this, we charge 25 lien on each job. If you don't have any lien, or are a fan fiction author, Hick here will name a list of items we will take. Please note that some of these items are worth more than money to some of us.

Hicks: Mountain Dew Voltage, Mountain Dew Baja Blast, Strawberry cookies, Achieve men merchandise, nukes, tuna, pancakes, bacon, pizza, Klondike bars, scythe files similar to Crescent Rose, Gun chucks like Sun Wukong's, explosive burritos, the ability to summon the broomstick gods, a scenario where Hicks is horribly tort- OK, WE'RE NOT DOING THAT LAST ONE!

Burn: Of course we are, how else are we going to make you feel extreme pain?

Hicks: I bet Grif doesn't have to deal with this

Meanwhile

"Grif, get over here pronto! I need someone to test my new extreme torture mechanism on that isn't Donut!"

"GET THAT THING AWAY FROM ME, TEST IT ON SIMMONS!"

"Sorry Grif, but Sarge wanted me to film the whole thing so he could have it for future references on how to kill you and so on."

"Wait, why not have Lopez film it? Shouldn't he have a camera in his head?"

"Grif that's ridiculous, why would Lopez have a camera in his head? That's about as dumb as a computer that would try to recreate Blood Gulch using only memories of some other computer but mess up and get everyone's personalities wrong. Now then, GET BACK HERE SO YOU CAN FEEL THE HORRIBLE PAIN I AM ABOUT TO INFLICT ON YOU WITH THIS AWESOME DO HICKY RIGHT HERE!"

"Protect me cone!"

And back to our PSA…

Burn: Anyway, also know that if you don't want the intruder to your fan fic to be harmed, don't worry. Well just return them to their regular stories with no harm done.

Ruby: That's nice, for a moment I thought you would just have Nora break their legs.

Burn: What makes you say that?

Random person: (in the background) AHHH! MY LEGS! MY BEAUTIFUL LEGS!

Nora: NEXT!

Yang: Guys, we just got a call from a Weiss of an alternate universe. Says that there are two Velvets, and one of them is a Yandere.

Burn: Matt, you're up.

Matt: I have long dreamed of this day. Finally, I'll show yandere Velvet who is the true psychopath. IT'S ON LIKE DONKEY KONG FURRY! (Jumps through a random portal while carrying bazookas, and chainsaw axes while on fire)

Burn: I'm sure he'll be fine.

Ruby: I'm slightly worried about yandere Velvet.

Burn: Relax, she won't be killed. Just mauled by someone crazier than her.

Velvet: Why do people keep creating yandere versions of me?

Burn: Don't know, I think it started with 'Weiss Reacts'.

Weiss: Told you that fic was nothing but migraine.

Velvet: Anyway, got a call from an alternate dimension Ruby, says some guy claiming to be her boyfriend just randomly appeared.

Yang: (puts on sunglasses) I GOT THIS! (jumps through with a battle cry)

Burn: May God almighty have mercy on that man's soul. And his balls, defiantly his balls. (screen fades to black) Anyway, who's up for Mountain Dew Voltage?

Nora: I am!

Burn: No Nora, no voltage for you. (Magnhild is heard transforming) On second thought, here's some for you. (whispers) Get the tranq darts ready.

Ruby: (also whispering) I don't think that'll help. They just make her more hyperactive somehow.

Burn: That makes no sense.

Ren: I feel your pain brother, I feel your pain.

**This has been a Destro PSA (guest staring Ruby, Yang, Weiss, Velvet, and Nora) **


End file.
